Peter (xoder) wrote,
Peter
xoder

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Strange..

I've been oddly contented lately. I'm happy with me, the way I am, and with the way things are going. Housing is nearly solved (RA notifications go out on the second), and I'm feeling good. Health is improving and nearly 100% better.

Maybe its the weather. The sun came out today. It was bright and annoying, but welcome -- not unlike me, I hope.

Maybe... maybe its the thinking I've been doing. I've been reflecting over my past a lot, and I realized that happiness bred happiness. When I'm happy, I get happier. It has gotten me in trouble, though. Hyperactivity is frowned upon in our time and place of utter blasé. Not to mention, things work out better.

Even girls.
Yeah, nothing's happening now, but I remembered a certain Pittsburgh to LGA (or was it JFK?) flight nearly a year ago. There was this girl (and she knows who she is), and I realize now what was the big difference between my approach then, and my approach now. I was happy. Hell, I would have been happy had nothing happened between us. And that's the key. I would have (at that point) not cared which way it went, good or bad. I did love it going well, but I would have been fine if it had fallen flat. I need to be willing to not care. Willing to move on, and try again and again. Willing to settle for friends.

Willing to be happy.

I think I can do that.

PETER
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