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"Like a graveyard...
... people dig me"
On people and their habits 
1st-Jul-2006 09:29 am
Burning Man
Before I get down to business, I'd like to say that yesterday I did the usual run yesterday in 18/19 minutes (I don't remember which...).
What is interesting, to me, is that so many of our behaviors and feelings in the now are strongly influenced, if not outrightly dictated by our behaviors and feelings in the past. For instance, of late I've been spending time with people from BxSci, and I treat them much the same way as I used to. Sam will always be short and look like Bill Gates, even if he doesn't anymore. I'll likely always flop over Kitri and Chloe, even as we've all aged I've realized that for one reason or another, a relationship with either probably wouldn't work. There are other examples, but these are the most glaring to me.

Lately I've been having trouble meeting and speaking with new people. I just kind of clam up. I've always held myself to be extroverted, but in reality, if I have nothing to say, I'd stay quiet, except that I really, really dislike silence. I like hearing stories from people, and I feel that I have no stories of my own. Other people's exploits are so funny, amusing, heart-rending, beautiful, and more while mine are simply how I live my life day to day. I realize that to a certain extend, even these others probably don't see their stories that way.

I also think that I've been even more annoying than usual. Talking when I shouldn't, pressing points I should drop, being sleepy when I should be actively following along with the group, and more!

Blah. Back for another downward swing, I guess. I should have been able to tell because I started writing in here again.

Oh, and we still don't know whether we've got the apartment yet. The management company was supposed to interview us yesterday and give us their decision. But they did not.
Comments 
1st-Jul-2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
My socialization's been wonky lately too. At a game party last weekend, I read a book almost the whole time, but in the same room as various games were taking place. I realized at the time it was strange, but I liked the book. After, one of my friends who was there remarked that I'd looked like I was doing pretty well - a reference to the recent loss of my bird. It'd never occured to me that my ood behavior could've been 'cause of that. Of course, since then I've had a blast of a time blaming my not wanting to do HW for my online course on that. :-P
1st-Jul-2006 07:01 pm (UTC)
See, this is why I have introvert parties. You can come over and read a book while surrounded by other people, and no one will think it strange!
1st-Jul-2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
Well, it was strange that I was that way in the first place, as I'm normally an extrovert. I suppose if I were truly introverted then I'd've hung out in T$'s room instead of downstairs with everyone. I was also surprised that no one actually did think it strange in that context. I ♥ geeks. :)
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