Hello, we are gathered here today to formalize, authorize, and harmonize this marriage between [Faelan's legal name] and [faboo's legal name].
Here is where I was going to put some rambly quote, but I couldn't come up with anything good, so on to the main show.
Do you, Faelan, take faboo to be your lawfully wedded husband, for as long as you can?
[As I recall, she said "aw, yep!"]
And do you, faboo, take Faelan to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you can?
[faboo's response: "of course!"]
And now that I have asked you the questions required by law, I will now ask the one required by custom: If anyone here knows of any reason why these two should not be married, speak now, or else have the common courtesy not to bring it up at parties.
Therefore by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church of Modesto, California, and by the Great State of New York, I now pronounce you HUSBAND and WIFE.
You may now make out like crazed weasels.
You know, That was a lot of fun, I should find out what kind of registration I need (as I do need some kind of registration) to do that sort of thing in NYC.