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"Like a graveyard...
... people dig me"
To my worst enemy 
15th-Jul-2005 12:34 pm
Eyecon
Stop it, you fucking ingrate. Of course you deserve the things you have! You deserve your job, your friends—you are NOT a piece of shit. Fuck you, stop beating yourself up; Mom says (rightly) that there are more than enough people in this world who are more than willing to do that for you. You are the only one responsible for building yourself up—no one else can do it for you if you don't do it.

You have so much going right for you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you've done nothing wrong and you certainly don't deserve it, regardless of what your stupid, fatalistic brain thinks. You are stopping yourself from feeling good, and one day it will kill you. Follow your own fucking advice, and just relax and believe in yourself.

Idiot.
Comments 
15th-Jul-2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
um...good job, not beating yourself up there, petor. You know, you're sposed to let *me* give you that lecture. And now you've taken away my fun.
There's always next year's "yell at petor for being mean to himself" pow-wow, I suppose.

I looooove you.
15th-Jul-2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
I love you too, Kitten.
15th-Jul-2005 11:17 pm (UTC)
You don't deserve anything.

That includes negativity. There is no innate moral judgement of your character -- you are neither worthwhile nor worthless. In my experience, neither self-praise nor fault-finding have anything to do with being happy. Happiness comes and goes; your only task is to experience it.
16th-Jul-2005 12:52 am (UTC)
Fuck all this "deserve" crap. Take what ye can, give nothing back. YAAARRRRR!!!
16th-Jul-2005 05:18 am (UTC)
some people say cold, harsh reality hurts like a punch in the face. But sometimes the truth about how good things are feels like you're getting decked in the face more than anything. it's funny how those things work out.

Best to you and Erin.
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