Stop it, you fucking ingrate. Of course you deserve the things you have! You deserve your job, your friends—you are NOT a piece of shit. Fuck you, stop beating yourself up; Mom says (rightly) that there are more than enough people in this world who are more than willing to do that for you. You are the only one responsible for building yourself up—no one else can do it for you if you don't do it.
You have so much going right for you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you've done nothing wrong and you certainly don't deserve it, regardless of what your stupid, fatalistic brain thinks. You are stopping yourself from feeling good, and one day it will kill you. Follow your own fucking advice, and just relax and believe in yourself.