I watched the sunset tonight. Things have really been getting to me, so I went and I rollerbladed. I'm keeping this friend's only for reasons which will become clear.
It was beautiful. The sky changed from light cyan in the west to royal blue in the east. The clouds were amazing shades of yellow, orange, pink and red, all fading to violet. It was like they knew that they were leaving and had to put on their best clothes, to make a good impression as they left. I sat awhile, in F-Lot (I think), just watching the sun go down. Every once and awhile, I'd lose sight of clouds that I once saw clearly. In the east, the moon had already risen. The clouds were creating an amazing halo of light which simply added to its beauty. The sky slowly faded colors, from front to back (as I was facing west), from cyan to royal blue to navy. As the colors changed, I felt that I had so many of these thoughts running through my head, that I had to get them on some media. here they are. I wish I could draw the picture, and then animate it. But it wasn't just the image. It was sanctuary. It got me out of myself (or is it into a different part of myself?) and into writing. I see that things will happen. There is nothing I can do about that. I want it to stop happening, but I know it cannot. I have to keep my balance, and keep on pushing on.
Until 2072, that is ;-)
Still, things are not yet resolved. When they do, I will tell you all. I can't stand looking at myself, knowing that what I've done, has troubled others so much. Especially when I meant no harm, when I meant nothing to happen of it. I want it to stop!!!!