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"Like a graveyard...
... people dig me"
Popular interests among Xoder's friends 1.… 
5th-Sep-2004 12:28 am
Happy Dance
Popular interests among Xoder's friends
1. reading (32) 11. dancing (13)
2. music (32) 12. sleeping (12)
3. computers (20) 13. new york city (12)
4. writing (20) 14. cats (12)
5. art (17) 15. rit (11)
6. books (17) 16. photography (11)
7. anime (16) 17. science fiction (11)
8. love (14) 18. harry potter (11)
9. sex (14) 19. cuddling (11)
10. friends (13) 20. rochester (10)
Interests gestalt
My most interesting friend is nightstalker who has 13 of these interests,
followed by summerific (11), orangecream (11) and xxv (11).
Normality Index
My friends are 81.88% normal.
Analyze me !
Popular interests created by _imran_

Question of the day: Are you scared to get (emotionally or physically) close to someone? Why or why not? When or when not?

shoujo_mallet and I went to four museums, for just $6.50 per person. First, to the Museum of American Financial History, which primarily looked like a museum of the exploitation of migrant workers. However, I did get a personalized piece of ticker tape. Then the Museum of the American Indian (where I got my Mom a b'day present). We mustn't forget the Skyscraper Museum, with its distracting mirror floors (upskirt joy on Erin!). Then we took the subway to the New York City Fire Museum, which was extremely nifty. Finally, we were headed for our fifth museum of the day in Chinatown (The Museum of the Chinese in America), but it was closed for renovations. But we did get a tasty roll. And beforehand, we stopped in Toys in Babeland, to take a look around. A very nice store indeed.

So we headed North to the Lincoln Center area, grabbed some food (mmm... panini) and went to a crafts fair. And then we saw Satin Rouge, which was extremely tasty.

And then the departure, Which brings us to now.
5th-Sep-2004 07:53 am (UTC)
I used to be. My life's goal was to never get attached. Never get my heart broken. Actually..never to have a heart to break. I vowed against love. Against all that stuff that the songs were made of. This was all emotion. Physical..never afraid. Perhaps that too was not so well..but eh. I dunno whether or not I wanted to be different..Or because I was such an Aquarius.
I suppose..all of that was up till I met Slava.
Sure..I didn't understand what I was feeling when we were together. We were around 14. How could I? But when I lost him (early frosh year-middlelate soph) I realized that what I experienced was heartache. Sure it was slight. It was horrible nonetheless. It was nothing like the second time though..

I mean now. Now, even though that second time he broke up with me was the worst, absolute worst pain I had ever experienced (still now do I feel it)..I'm not scared anymore.
I'm madly in love..and I can't help it.

So I was scared. A fear that stemmed perhaps from my father leaving? Not too sure. But all relationships would not go over a matter of months. All friendships would reformat periodically. Attachment..nope.
Can't say I'm not scared now. Sure I am!

Ah..love makes us fools.
5th-Sep-2004 10:28 am (UTC)
Heh. I am. But I have found someone that I will not be afraid to get close to, ever. And I will stay there until I am utterly destroyed.
6th-Sep-2004 09:36 pm (UTC)
Does scaring others by getting emotionally or physically close to them apply? 'Cause I think I've experienced that... though they may have just judged me to be a serious fire hazard at the time. Mmmmmm... combustible beverages...

Seriously, though? Yes, definitely. Trying to figure out just where you're comfortable with someone else is always something of a struggle, even if you didn't have to gauge just how much of you they're comfortable with... but I've gotten a hell of a lot more laid back about the whole process with age and experience. I don't think I'd really want to lose those imtimacy uncertainties, either - it'd be too much of a sacrifice in terms of teh entire experience of... life, like losing your adrenal glands or something. (Though if anyone is interested in selling, I may be able to arrange something, wink wink, nudge nudge, saynomore, a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat...)
6th-Sep-2004 09:43 pm (UTC)
The reason I ask is that everyone seems to be scared of getting close to someone because they get caught up in the "but what if it doesn't work out" scenarios. Its never bothered me because I've remained good friends with everyone I've ever gotten emotionally involved with.

People need to learn that now is more important than later.
7th-Sep-2004 12:17 am (UTC)
Well, in that case, I did seriously get caught up in that once... but I went ahead with it... and things ended up seriously blowing up in my face. Not to mentioning loads of emotional pain in turmoil.

And yet, still, oddly enough, we're still friends. And if I'd moved more quickly and more decisively, who knows what might have happened.

Fear is the mind-killer.
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