Peter (xoder) wrote,
Peter
xoder

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So the hopefully-job-to-be was supposed to call today. They did not, and this means one of three possibilities:
  1. They made their decision to take me, and simply forgot to call. This is highly unlikely.
  2. Their decision was delayed (forgotten, or just late). This is likely (my other dealings with Corporate America have been plagued by delays)
  3. They decided against me and are cowards. This is entirely possible.

Went to TKD today. It was invigorating as usual, but I know I am too slow and too weak. The weakness is possible to combat, assuming I can train what I need to without hurting myself (I probably am that far gone for my core). The slowness is something in my mind. I have always been slow on my feet, physically, mentally, and socially.

This bothers me: I have told others to communicate their proposals for my time in advance for everyone's easiest implementation. However, due to the first point, this is making me overly stressed about this. My bosses want to know when I'm leaving, and I can't give them a fucking answer, because I am forced to repeat the flakiness of others. If there is one thing I cultivate in myself and try to pride myself on (as useless as such a feeling is) is my reliability. When I am forced to become unreliable, it annoys me, when I am forced to become such at the hands of someone I am indebted to, I am thoroughly bothered.
I guess I'm just an anal-retentive boring moron.

PETER
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