-Is popularity a social disease?
I prefer to think that life is a sexually transmitted disease.
-Would you want to be a hippie?
There are those who would say I already am. These people are not hippies.
-Have you knowingly destroyed an endangered plant or animal?
Haven't even seen any in a situation where I could if I wanted to.
-Did your parents bronze your first pair of baby shoes?
Nope, they're not "thing" people
-Do you check for a train when crossing tracks in your car even though the arms aren't down?
Yes. What do you take me for?
-Is there gossip going around about you right now?
If only I was so interesting that someone would consider such. But seriously, I try to be completely open with people, so I like to think that outlandishly false gossip would peter out due to its own outlandishness.
-How many comic strips do you read daily?
tedrall_cartoon, modrnwrld_comic, and redmeat_rss are weeklies. sinfestfeed, nonsquitor_feed, calnhobbes, and someposifeed are dailies. dr_fun hasn't been working for awhile.
-If you were hiding from a burglar, would you hide in the closet or under the bed?
I'd stand up, ask him what he wanted, and informed him that he had the option of leaving peacibly, or I could get creative.
-What do you most commonly use milk for: drinking or cooking?
-Who should provide the condoms in a relationship: the man or the woman?
Whoever has them at the time.
-Are you ever afraid that people hate you and they're just acting like they don't?
-When you're crossing the street with other people, do you ever feel a need to get to the other side first?
I tend to walk in front of people. I think it has something to do with my legs.
-Should people be able to go to college without a high school diploma if they score high enough on entrance tests?
-Would you be embarrassed if people could hear you talking to your pets?
-If elephants were bred to a smaller size and sold as house pets, would you want one?
Elephants are super-cute. However, the answer "Pets?" is still applicable.
-Do you refer to people as 'dude'?
"Dude" is an amazing word. Guys, girls, computers. Interjection, expletive, noun.
-Do you remember the last time you wrote a 'snail mail' letter?
I need to write thank-you postcards for the people who gave me gifts for my birthday.
-Do you think beards/mustaches make men look older than they actually are?
-When you're having trouble burping when you feel like you need to, does patting yourself on the chest seem to help?
-Do you have your wallet with you right now?
-If it ever came down to a final battle between good and evil and you knew that evil was going to win, who would you fight for?
Bullshit. Good needs evil as much as the other way around. Both sides recognize this implicitly and know better than to start shit like that.
-Do you feel guilty when you borrow money from your parents?
I feel more guilty when they just put money in my hands and say, go get yourself _____.
-Which do you prefer: a knife and fork or a spork?
Knife and fork.
-Do you constantly have times where you have no money and then earn a lot of money and you don't know what to do with it?
-Do you always see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life?
I am my own antagonist. Or perhaps anti-hero?
-Can you drive by a car accident without staring?
Depends on the speed of traffic.
-Do you find it a challenge to congratulate your opponent who just beat you in a game or competition?
Not at all. We came to the [figurative] table, did our best, and I lost. I am used to losing.
-Do you think that no matter how cold or heartless someone seems there is always at least one thing in the world that they love?
-Who is worse: Someone who doesn't repay a loan or someone that steals your CDs?
People who write ridiculously long quizzes
-Why do you think so many homosexual men still go without condoms?
Can we say loaded question? Why do so many heterosexual men go without condoms? Why do so few people buy dental dams? Why do people keep having sex after they are diagnosed with a lethal STD? Why do people keep writing dumb surveys that I cannot help myself from filling in.
-When you think about morality, do you think more in terms of good/bad people, or good/bad actions?
-Which of these female comedians is funnier: Ellen Degeneres or Margaret Cho?
-Are you scared of dying alone?
I don't think about death. It's one of those things that will happen to me. But at least I can comfort myself in that death is truly egalitarian -- no one escapes it.
-Are you most comfortable being treated by a doctor of the same sex as you?
I don't care.
-Do you take daily walks?
Class, club, practice (although that's often a run). I really should go for my constitutionals in the woods again.
-Are there some slang terms you refuse to use?
"Gay"/"Ghey" to mean "bad." "Ni**er" in any situation.
-Do you have a favorite pen that you use all the time?
Yes, although its mostly a pen type. I like fat pens.
-Have you ever changed an adult's diaper?
-Do you think it's dangerous or a good thing when two very depressed people start to date each other?
I dunno, ask my depressed former girlfriend(s).
-Do you know a game that is very stupid, yet very addicting?
-Do you plan on having your children Christened/Baptised?
-Would regularly seeing videos of you interacting with people significantly improve your overall human effectiveness?
I would never be able to deal with people ever again. The only reason that I can deal with them now is that I forget how I look, talk, act, am.
-Have you ever misspelled 'misspell'?
I have probably misspelled every word longer than one letter at least once. Of course, I wouldn't put it past me to fuck up the one-letter ones.
-Have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours to study for an exam?
Never. But I did to finish a paper.
-Have you ever been in the back of a moving truck?
-When you were young, did you know some pop stars were gay?
-If you got a backstage pass at a concert, would you feel better than everyone else?
Probably yes. I hate to admit it.
-Is your microwave any other color besides white?
-Would you prefer a bagel or an entire breakfast in the morning?
MUST HAVE CEREAL. IN SILK. REMEMBER TO PUT SILK BACK IN FRIDGE. GO TO CLASS.
-Do you think that couples that elope have a better chance of staying together?
My paternal grandparents eloped. My Grandma's family didn't want her marrying a Catholic. They stayed together until my Grandma died a few years ago.
-Do you know of a frozen dinner that tastes good?
-Will public restrooms no longer be separated by gender in the near future?
People are stupid, so nope.
-If you do not eat red meat but eat fish are you a vegetarian?
No, but you are a pesco-vegetarian. Whatever that means.
-When you discard a piece of paper, which of the following are you more likely to do: rip it apart in pieces or crumple it?
Crumple it. Unless it has my SSN/Phone Number/Email/Other info like that.
-Do you wear your pants and shorts above or below your waist line?
Below. I'm a boy. I was sick the day they gave out waists.
-Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sex change operation?
Not so much that as rather what it would feel like to have a pussy.
-Do you call margarine 'butter,' even though you know the difference?
-Do you bathe less when you are depressed?
Nope. There are certain habits that nothing can destroy
-Would you ever drink from a bowl or cup made out of human bones?
I dunno, I mean, I drink water made of human (and just about everything else) piss. I eat food made out of human (and just about everything else) shit. Tell me the difference.
-Does your car normally smell good?
No car do I have.
-Do you think 9/11 will be the worst thing you will see in your life?
Sometimes I hope so. Then I remember how distant it all was, just a glowing screen in my room, in Gosnell, in the Ritz. And I think how I would have felt if I was but a year younger and had to walk home from Science through all of that. And how much worse that would have been.
-Do you tend to do more research for school or papers at the library or on the internet?
Internet. Especially for labs. All labs have been done before.
-Do you have an outfit you wear that makes you feel like a star?
Nope, although I feel particularly notable in my EFF shirt. This is, of course, completely ridiculous.
-You are working at McDonald's frying meat. Your manager is being a jerk and you are ticked. A customer comes in and orders a 20-piece box of nuggets. Out of anger towards your manager, would you pack 20 or more, or 19 or less in that box?
I do my job.
-Once you've made up your mind about the kind of person someone is, can anything they say or do change it?
Usually I assume that people are good, but if you dick me around too much, I realize that although you're trying to be good, you are failing miserably in my department. There are few people who I give the "Truly Evil" rating to, and they have earned it, day after day.
-Do you think that cuddling with a member of the opposite sex, with no intention of sexual relations, is cheating?
Probably not, although its a well-known fact that a) I'm skewed and b) I probably enjoy cuddling too much for that to work.
-Which would you be willing to give up the internet for: world peace or immortality?
You dare to mention forsaking my dear Internet?
-Are you a redneck?
-Do you think by 2050 there will be flying cars?
Fuck no. What in the hell would we use to power them?
-Should politicians be allowed to have a private life?
Yes. Because they are citizens, and citizens have the right to privacy in this country, regardless of what current legislation may tell you.
-Do you avoid going over to other people's houses because it makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place?
-If someone you don't know too well puts you in the buddy list of his or her profile, would you be suspicious, or would it be OK that he or she did that?
That would be kinda strange. No one ever reacts to me that way, I wouldn't know how to feel.
-Do you have a trash can in every room of your home?
-Who said "I love you" first: you, or your partner?
Me, to the point of ruining a few relationships that had promise.
-Do you ever lay down and watch a movie, only to fall asleep in the very beginning and wake up when the movie is over?
-Do you say 'thank you' before leaving a store, even though you may not have purchased anything?
-Would you approve if your significant other wanted to have a nude painting done?
Um, I'd need more details. And I just have no compass on that one, so I can't really answer it.
-If there were nine guilty people and one innocent, and they all had to be together, would you put them all in jail or set them all free?
Set them free. I believe Thomas Jefferson said something like, "It is a far greater crime to jail one innocent man than to free a thousand guilty men."
-Is your pet also your best friend?
-When the toilet backs up, do you call someone to fix it or do you do it yourself?
Depends on whether or not I can figure it out.
-Have you ever recited a love poem to your significant other?
Not exactly. But this kinda works.
-Are your teeth discolored?
Yes, although I've never known them to be any color other than what they are.
-When you were a child, did you make or buy your Halloween costumes?
Both. Once I made a computer costume for myself. Another time I made a Cyclops costume using some red Saran Wrap and some lights from my Capsella set.
-Have you ever seen a movie and liked it but upon further viewing come to like it a lot less?
Is this not often the way things go?
-If your father was a minister, would you want him to preside over your wedding ceremony?
Nope. Unless he was ULC. Then I'd consider it.
-Would you prefer to watch porn or a really good comedy?
Comedy. Porn is too weird for continual watching.
-How long did your longest phone conversation ever last: more or less than 5 hours?
More, although I have no idea how long.
-Do you put your initials on everything you own?
After I begin communicating with someone I sign emails with "-PCG" [Before then I sign as "Peter C. Gravelle" and possibly a second line with whatever I may be responding as, such as "Editor, Gracies Dinnertime Theatre"]
-Do you like or dislike people based on who else likes or dislikes them?
No. This has caused problems.
-Do you have a friend who you hang out with only when there is nothing else to do?
Sometimes I wonder for how many people am I this person?
-Which is harder: calculus or trigonometry?
Trig, by far.
-Do you often find yourself correcting your parents?
On tech issues, they're so far off, I wouldn't even call it correcting.
-If you could stop aging at a certain age, do you know what that age would be?
Without old age, we would not appreciate youth and vice versa.
-Do you more often eat off of real plates or paper plates?
-Have you ever had tape over your mouth?
Yes, more often than I can possibly recount here.
-If you encountered someone you totally didn't know and he or she seemed to tell you the solutions to your uniquely specific problems without having been told what they were, would you be more thankful or freaked out?
-Which day of the weekend is better: Saturday or Sunday?
Saturday. You try balancing putting together an issue and marginalia in Shakespeare on Sunday. It sucks monkey balls.
-Would you rather eat a raw egg or a scoop of raw hamburger?
-Do shy kids tend to grow up to be freaks?
-When you put on a shirt, do you button up or down?
I think down. But I never thought about it.
-Do you scent your letters when you write to a special someone?
-Is punk influenced more by music or attitude?
You need both.
-Did you ever start a thread that got at least 40 posts?
No where even close. One time I think I had a entry that generated like 12. That was one of the affirmation project ones. I mentioned gods. That was quite the hot button.
-Can you recall the ending of the last story you read?
-Have you ever had your head stuck in an unusual place?
I can't remember. I have this feeling that I have, but I don't know.
-Do you have any weird or funny local slang?
-When you come online, is there always one person you look for?
-Do lava lamps make you sick looking at them?
mmmm... purty goo
-Will Hollywood ever run out of ideas for movies?
There are only six plots, they just mix 'em up a bit. Just ask Orwell.
-Does P. Diddy telling everyone that he is the new Frank Sinatra make you want to roll your eyes?
As in a womanizing drunk who everyone loves? He missed the last part, sorry P.
-Do you think the state of the global environment will be better or worse in 50 years?
Worse, duh. But I earnestly hope we move to hybrid vehicles wholesale within the next 15.
-Do you eat dinner in the dining room or in the living room?
Dining room/Kitchen/Living room is all the same in my kitchen.
-Which Mike Judge cartoon do you prefer: Beavis and Butthead or King of the Hill?
King of the Hill
-Have you ever fallen off your chair in public?
Yes. I also have spun so much that I fell when practicing the second degree form.
-When sleeping, do you face the doorway or have your back to it?
I usually fall asleep facing the door and wake up the same way, because the window is on the other side.
-Do you only pretend looks don't matter because you're ugly yourself?
I'm ugly myself. Looks can matter. Ugly truths suck, but are true, and thusly are blameless.
-Do you think you'd be capable of representing yourself in court rather than hiring an attorney to do it for you?
-When you flirt with someone, is it obvious or more subtle?
I've been told I'm a horrible flirt. I don't notice it. Is this subtle or obvious?
-Do you think couples break up mainly because of differences they can't resolve or because they have found someone new?
Shit happens. Life goes on.
-Do you reread things that are written well?
-What hurts more: getting poked in the eye or biting your tongue?
Tongue hurts longer, eye hurts sharper.
-Do you prefer merry-go-rounds or ferris wheels?
They're both a bit too sedate for me.
-Which do you prefer: original or flavored Tootsie Rolls?
-If you had three children, would you rather have two boys and a girl, or two girls and a boy?
I can't quite wrap my head around kids (or marriage). But I do know I've wanted a daughter for a long time.
-Is having a threesome basically approved cheating?
Nope, just good clean fun.
-Is it a turn off to you if the woman has a deep, manly voice or if the man has a high, pre-pubescent voice?
-Have you copied (or "ripped") your entire CD collection onto your computer?
Yes. Into Ogg Vorbis.
-Do you have buns of steel?
-Did you use floaties on your arms when you were learning to swim?
-Did your first ever snog involve French kissing?
I don't believe so.
-Do you know a person who is physically unattractive and yet a flirt?
-Are there a lot of programs on your computer that you don't know how to use?
Yes. But that's what man pages are for.
-Do you live in an uncomfortable environment, such as where you feel you cannot be yourself?
-If you had discovered a body on the side of the road would you see if it was still alive?
Yes. Instinct at this point.
-Does punishing everyone for the actions of the few get us closer to utopia?
No. Utopia's name means "nowhere." There is a reason for this.
-Can you finish an entire 2-liter bottle of soda by yourself in a single sitting?
-Have your parents ever forbidden you to play a certain type of music in their house?
Nope. Although my Dad doesn't like Iron Maiden.
-Since you reached dating age, have you been single for more than three years?
What is dating age? And regardless, no.
-When buying shampoo or soap, do you choose one because of what they put in it, or because you like the smell?
Because I know the stuff and have used it in the past.
-Have you ever had writer's block?
Anyone who's written seriously has. Considering I've written for money a few times, this can get costly.