Peter (xoder) wrote,
Peter
xoder

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Fuck


I know you've grown to hate me
Even more than you have
Grown to hate yourself
But has it really made a difference?
Sharing all that hate
With someone else?

Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think he's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Does he worship and adore you?
Does he make you feel so
Beautifully complete?
Is your life so much better now?
Or do the same
Old demons haunt just me?

Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think he's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Is he everything you've dreamed of?
I'd imagine he is
So much more than me
You know I tried to make you happy
But I believe
You thrive on misery
Stabbing Westward, "Happy"



Sometimes I fear that I "thrive on misery," and that this is why I don't know how to deal with compliments. Or happiness. Or other people being sad (am I feeling threatened that they are taking away my lifesblood?).

I swear I used to be able to handle my own in a conversation. Now I am silent. What good am I?

The answer to that question is answered best with another question. What good ins any human on a global scale? We are walking entropy factories, but then again, so is everything else. So in comparison to the rest of everything, we matter not. Just as you shouldn't/can't measure a currency's absolute value, just its value in comparison to other currencies, as we compare humans to the rest of the universe, we find that we are nothing special, and in some localized cases, worse.

That's all I got. I'm considering just going to watch Barelaked Nadies in the living room. Or I could clean it. Or both.

PETER
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