In a few moments I will be heading to my last class of the day and some things will change. Maybe a lot of things.
But first: LUNACON
Friday: Skipped Linear Systems 1 to depart. zsparke, stoneliongrowl and myself left RIT ca. 12:30, I think. Ate, talked, rode/drove. Picked up Burton (zsparke's b/f). Picked up orangecream from SUNY Bing. Rode, drove, talked, ate. Made it to the Escher Hilton, checked in, dropped off stuff. It was wonderful to see everyone again.
Saturday: Well, went to RHPS. Left early because of various reasons. Woke up. Went to a panel. Wrote my villanelle (partly during [on second thought, never mind]'s messing around session). Didn't go to Penguincon. Saw and spoke with Eric S. Raymond. Yes, that Eric S. Raymond. Bought H2G2 DVD. And Buttons. Most everyone was at parties, but still got to see people.
Sunday: Woke up, saw people. Packed, left.
I could go into more detail, but I don't think I will.
It was good. I didn't have the little "lets feel sorry for myself" bout I had last year when everyone was inebriated. Seeing everyone was good and joyful.
And now, I come back to finish my Electronics HW. And I'm already missing one. I'm so screwed. I just don't get it. I listen to him, I do the note thing, I work the problems, and I just don't get it.
This is an elementary course in my major. I haven't gotten better than a C in any such courses other than Intro to Digital Design (which no one should get lower than a B in, ever).
Which leads me to my plans for after Linear Systems today. I'm going to go see my advisor and discuss changing my major. I need to stay above a 3.0 this quarter, so I might just withdraw from Electronics 2.
But change it to what? I don't really have any good ideas. So far I have considered: CS, IT, and English. Obviously the last in that list would require a change of schools, the first would probably be just as hard if not harder than EE, and the middle would be just embarrassing.
I could be like my dentist. He gave up on EE because it was too hard, too.
Gods that sounds so pathetic. I feel like a complete jackass for switching majors because "its too hard." I believe nothing is too hard to be understood, just that it takes awhile. Or at least I used to be like that. I remember when, in elementary school, I was smart. Junior High, I was nobody's fool. High School was tricky, but trickier for others. Now I'm at the bottom third of my major's barrel (or so it feels, maybe worse). And its just not good enough. I just can't keep up.
So, please. Suggestions? Tips? Kicks in the ass?
Gods, I'm such a failure.
"There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying" -- Blues Traveler, "Just Wait"