August 17th, 2006

Tao Antialiased

Keep on Rocking in the Free World [even if the goat wants to shut me up]

So I've not been posting very much lately. Mostly because my internal dialogue has been turned inward; I'm answering my own questions. I'm not happy with the answers, at least for the past two days or so, but they keep coming back the same. It may have something to do with the sleepiness. When I'm tired I get introspectively cranky. And self-reinforcingly so (shut up, I can make up words like anyone else).

I also fail at life: I fell getting off the subway this morning and skinned (but did not bloody, there's always a bright side) both of my elbows. (That's what I get for rushing out the train and getting at least one foot pinned by the door. Funny thing is while I was falling I realized what I had to do to prevent a fall but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that I was falling, and was just too tired/lazy to do anything about it.) I also forgot to shampoo this morning, but worry not, I went to the bathroom just now and used some soap so my hair will fail to become a greasy helmet of ick---as quickly.

The other reason that I've been slow to LJ is that I don't feel my complaining is worth posting. Yes, I'm poly. Yes I'm craving a new relationship on top of what I have with my most awsomest girlfriend. But it makes me feel a little guilty to complain about it. After all, there are so many people who have trouble finding *one* person to share their awesome with, what right do I have about wanting to find a second?

Also the complaining above the previous paragraph: absolutely worthless.

I need to get out of my head for a little while and bounce ideas off things that are not me, or I will get worse, I think. MichaelCrawford, Kuro5hin.org's favorite crazy writer dude says: "One way sane people stay sane is that others around us let us know when we are straying from the rational path." In other words, social interaction is useful for mental health because it can help you keep on an even keel, even unconsciously. The article hasn't posted yet, but if you have a K5 account, you can see it at: http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2006/8/15/35149/9787

On a completely separate note, "Man of the Year" sounds like its going to be an awesome movie. Check IMDB or YouTube for more info.

Oh, and it always depresses me to learn exactly how little I've actually changed even though I keep thinking I've actually accomplished some positive personal growth/modification.